Confusion behind what qualifies as trauma or complex trauma is really common. We often think of trauma as one really horrible thing that happened, including violence, death of a caregiver or sibling, or experiencing physical abuse. While these events certainly can be traumatic, trauma extends beyond a single main event.

Complex trauma is the systematic, chronic and repeated exposure to emotional or physical pain, typically starting in our early years. This can look like being emotionally neglected, witnessing violent or intense conflict, food deprivation, poverty, bullying, being raised by a narcissistic parent, constant moving, parental substance abuse, and more.

People with complex trauma often have one or more of the following beliefs about themselves:

• I am “too much” or “not enough” for people.

• I am constantly being abandoned and left behind.

• I am defective and unworthy; it’s just how I am.

• It’s my fault that this happened to me; my parents couldn’t help it and I was the problem.

• There’s no point to feeling upset about this; I can’t do anything about it.

• I’ve tried everything to “fix me”, but nothing is working. I’m broken.

• I constantly have to take care of other people. Why can’t someone else do the work for once?

The truth is it’s not about what’s wrong with you, but what happened to you. People with C-PTSD often struggle with dissociation, emotional regulation, suicidal ideation, high-conflict in romantic relationships, low self-esteem, shame, fawning to avoid conflict, or hyper vigilance in social settings. However, this list is not exhaustive.

If you think you may have C-PTSD and want to discuss this more, reach out for my free 20-minute phone consultation and we can talk about what healing can look like.

Relational therapy emphasizes the importance of mutually beneficial relationships and the importance of the client-therapist relationship in the context of healing. Put simply, we heal in the context of relationships, especially when our wounds are “relationally based” (abandonment, betrayal, parental abuse, etc.).

If we don’t feel safe or seen by someone, we’re unlikely to take off our armor and show who we really are, especially the parts of ourselves that we deem make us “bad” or “unworthy”.

This is such a common question when starting your healing journey. It makes sense; sometimes, healing something requires it hurting more at first as we carefully look at the wounds you’ve been taking care of your whole life.

Healing is process, not a destination. In full truth, healing can take a lifetime for some people. Sometimes, there are wounds we experience that never fully heal.

However, suffering does not need to be your norm. As you move therapy, small changes typically come first. Maybe you find yourself with more motivation to do things you once loved. For others, this can look like starting to really question the systems in place in your life that are either keeping you stuck or helping you move forward. Your mind starts to shift from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me?”

Increasing your self-compassion, helping you build your resiliency, and navigating your healing in the context of your daily life are just some of the ways that people begin to see the impacts of therapy on their life.

For some, the goal is to not be in therapy forever. For others, therapy is seen as a routine ritual in their weekly life to support them as they navigate life’s challenges. Therapy is a space just for YOU where you have the opportunity to be held with non-judgment and accountability.

Neurodivergence is a non-medical umbrella term to refer to people who’s brain operates differently from those deemed neurotypical. This can include children and adults who are on the Autism spectrum, ADHD, dyslexia, learning disabilities, complex trauma, prenatal substance exposure, and more.

Children with neurodivergence often need additional support than what their neurotypical peers need. Behaviors that result from chronic frustration or sensory overwhelm, including severe tantrums, physical aggression, and boundary refusal can be difficult to understand as a parent. Is my child intentionally disobeying me? I know they know the rules, so why aren’t they following them? Why can’t they just “get it”?

As someone with extensive training in working with neurodivergent children and adults, I truly believe that with the power of psychoeducation, attachment work, and neurobehavioral therapy interventions, profound change can occur.

In my practice, I am passionate about practicing from a neuro-affirming model, finding strengths in you or your child as well as your parenting.